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| Author: Dele Oke

The place of man and woman in the home

So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman', for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:20-25 (NIV)

Marriage was God's idea. Woman was taken from the ribs of man.

Not from his feet, because God never intended for her to be walked all over, nor from his head because the woman was not made to look down or boss the man about.

Woman came from the ribs. The closest place to the heart. Our home is where our heart is. When a man and woman make a commitment to get married a new home is created.

The man and woman leave their father and mother, or in other words, leave their parents home and create a new one

For a home to work as God intended three vital things are needed.

  1. love
  2. commitment
  3. order

In this article we are focusing on order in the home, or to put it more plainly - the role of the man and woman in the home.

Love and commitment

Firstly lets briefly mention something about love and commitment. Commitment is a product of love. If you really love someone you will take the trouble to commit yourself to that person.

Love is a mysterious thing. Not even Adam understood it. He saw woman and something was set alight in his heart. It was something about her that caught his heart. That's still true of love today. True love is always more than an attraction to the persons physical body. It has to do with something about the person.

While love is of the heart, commitment is of the head. It is a conscious act of the will.

Order in the home

Just like order is essential in the church (the body of Christ) for it to function properly so is it essential in the home.

Order in the church is established by God. It is fulfilled by the different roles that people play in the church.

The Pastor oversees the operation of the local church. He or she is not more important to God than other people in the congregation, nor do pastors get their prayer requests answered before anyone else. Pastors are simply people called by God to steer the church in the right direction.

The man's role

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Ephesians 5:22 - 22 (NIV)

Husbands are called to love their wives just as Christ loved the Church. This is the main role God has called man to play in his home. To love her. Christ is head of the church because He won us over by His love. A man is the head of his home by loving his wife. Being the head means being the leader. The man leads by giving love.

Love involves commitment and care. When you love a person you will act it and say it. Many man forget to remind their wives verbally that they love them. Even Jesus took the time to remind us again and again, with the hundreds of promises in His word, about how much He loves us and cares for us.

Being the head of the home does not mean bringing home the biggest pay packet or reminding your wife that she must submit to you. Being the head is recognising that you are the giver.

A man is called to give. He gives seed and the woman takes it in and produces a child. He gives strength and a woman takes it and finds solace. He gives love and a woman takes it and makes him a leader.

The role of the woman

The woman is the maker. Man had no helper before woman came along. Man was lonely. He had no home.

When a man joins up with his wife in marriage they become one. This oneness makes the head of the home. A man cannot become the head of his home except he becomes one with his wife. All women need to know this. They are the makers. They take love from a man and make him a leader.

A woman is a fountain of love, encouragement and confidence building. When a man and woman join together they can put ten thousand to flee. A woman makes a man's decision making much better.

As the love between a man and woman grows they become so close that it is hard to tell who is making the decisions. When the man speaks you hear the wives ideals. When the woman sings you hear the mans voice.

The man is able to lead his home because his wife is helping him. The woman is able to follow her man because he loves her and listens to her.